The Commonwealth of United States of Vietnam is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Đặng Văn Nông with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, complete lack of prisons, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 22.248 billion Vietnamese are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Environment, Administration, and Welfare are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hanoi. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Vietnamese economy, worth a remarkable 9,736 trillion Vietnam Dong a year, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 437,617 Vietnam Dong, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Vietnamese tourists are encouraged to hand out spare condoms to locals while on vacation, politicians constantly ring their voters to remind them how good a job they're doing, physics lessons mostly involve talking about emotional management techniques, and Đặng Văn Nông's told that love often manifests itself through homicidal four-lettered litanies. Crime is totally unknown. United States of Vietnam's national animal is the Water Buffalo, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

United States of Vietnam is ranked 454^th in the world and 6^th in the South Pacific for Highest Poor Incomes, with 392,622.45 Standard Monetary Units.